Anger is prevalent in America. “Anger is an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong.” – American Psychological Association (APA). Anger is not wrong if it spurs you on to positive action, but it is dangerous if you are motivated toward revenge.
As a retired Speech-Language Pathologist, I have witnessed many preschoolers, who should have been preoccupied with play and laughter, come to school angry. Deborah Kotz, sharing a Harvard Medical School finding, wrote that 8 percent of teens have regular violent outbursts that fall into the category of a mental health disorder. The British Association of Anger Management stated that “about 22 million people [Americans] — have a history of impulsive angry behavior and have easy access to at least one gun.” Turn on any news channel and you will witness the results of destructive anger unleashed in our homes, workplaces, and places of worship.
If you are hurt and angry and are contemplating revenge or you know someone who is, please keep reading. The Bible has a recovery plan. This blog has limited space, but I can share several pearls of wisdom from scripture to help overcome destructive anger. You will need to take time to meditate on each scripture and pray for divine guidance, strength, and courage to learn to live these scriptures daily.
- Assess yourself. Is anger your modus operandi, your go to emotion, your habitual response when things do not go your way? Proverbs 29:11 (NASB) – A fool always loses his temper, But a wise man holds it back. Which one do you want to be?
- If you are justifiably angry, think about the matter before you act. Do not let anger consume you. Psalm 4:4 (NLT) – Don’t sin by letting anger control you. Think about it overnight and remain silent.
- If you need to confront the person, following is a biblical way: Matthew 18:15-17 (NASB) – If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. “But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that BY THE MOUTH OF TWO OR THREE WITNESSES EVERY FACT MAY BE CONFIRMED. “If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
- Forgive. Ephesians 4:32 (KJV) – Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
- No matter what the response is from the other person, if you took these steps to heal and please God, you will be blessed. Proverbs 16:7 (KJV) When a man’s ways are pleasing to the LORD, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him.
My prayer is that you conquer destructive anger and live in peace. #JoinTheConversation
I certainly enjoyed this blog. It’s definitely a word for me in this season. Blessings to you.
Blessings to you Tamika Foggie. If there are other topics you feel we should discuss, let me know at djshaire@gmail.com.
It is sad to see people angry because they must be very unhappy.
Jo Ann, I agree. They must be very unhappy.
Thank you, Dr. Haire, for this insight regarding anger.
I thank God
that it was beneficial for you.
Sometimes we are more likely to remember the quote about not going to sleep before you settle what you are angry about. Speaking out while you are angry may be a way to release your “steam” but it will likely not solve the matter if you are not calm enough to think reasonably. Giving careful thought to a matter can help you determine what the real issue is. I was angry with a man who lashed out me verbally. I had no problem with taking over the task I was waiting for him to do. His problem was me asking about it when he was overwhelmed with other stuff. I discovered other people had been hurt by his outbursts.
God helped me to let go of my hurt feelings. I said “Hi” to this man that I’d planned to avoid because I spoke up before I saw who it was coming through a door. Right away if felt as if I had been “tricked” into speaking to him but also felt the “surprise” diffuse my hurt. As I grow in understanding God and myself, I find I can look at situations and eventually see more clearly what the problem is. It is especially helpful to realize when problems are my fault. I also see that many things are not as important as the people that I love. Some problems are a one time issue that doesn’t have to be dealt with! It’s good to let go.
Being thankful and looking at life more realistically, and having a change of attitude helps. I often thank God now for a wonderful husband instead of finding fault in him. I’m thankful for my medication before I take it in the morning. Stresses in my life which might have been expressed as anger were causing anxiety, depression and pain. Joy comes from helping and encouraging others, also from enjoying God’s creation and learning from His Word.
Colletta, thank you for this heartfelt sharing. It will bless more people than you know.